There She Goes

I am sitting at Siena's desk looking out at the treetops of Coral Gables.  Just spent the last three days moving her into the University of Miami. Just said good bye....

It's only natural for a mom to make the kindergarten - college comparison. I've been flashing back on those little girl moments for days now. There she goes. All confident and self assured. All proud that she's on her own. Feeling pretty independent and eager for new adventure. Eyes sparkling, seeking out the new faces of future friends. Not even aware that I'm watching her every move. Will someone help her out if she scrapes a knee, gets bullied or teased? Who will give her an encouraging word when that first assignment doesn't turn out just exactly as planned? Broken shoelaces, broken heart, broken promises. Exceeding a goal, acing a test, learning to trust. I've spent the last 18 years preparing her for this step, but my heart is aching and bursting with pride at the same time. I know she's ready, I know I'm ready to let her go, but honestly, where did the time go? I meant to bake more, to argue less. I loved Barney sing-alongs in the car, the joy of making peanut butter celery and honey toast,  of late night trips to the drug store for poster board, running forgotten lunch to the school, no-sleeping slumber parties and exhausting days at crowded amusement parks.  Shopping for cleats, prom dresses and the perfect first day of school outfit.  Now there she goes. The memories are tumbling out of me...

Single french braid, tight, right down the top. No bows. Absolutely no bows. You can't french braid your own hair, so who will do it? And will they notice the beautiful sunstreaked strands?
Exploring and always looking ahead to the next trip. Playing soccer in Croatia with a bunch of boys. Where will her International Studies major take her? Will she be safe?
Thumbs flying across the key board, mastering the art of texting. Will she remember to text me once in awhile? As much as I'd love to hear her voice, a text would make my day.
Soccer. Track. More soccer.  Her high school coach once told her, she runs so gracefully. Watching her races from the bleachers, my stomach in knots, my smiling face reflecting the graceful athlete she was.  Will she find a way to follow her passion for sports?
Visiting her cancer-sticken friend on Halloween night,  a kind, patient and loyal friend.  Who will her new friends be? Can she hold on to some of those special childhood friends? I miss them almost as much as she.
Wise and generous sister.  Encouraging words and sneaking chocolate behind mom's back.  Pitching in to babysit when mom went back to work. Always willing to share a shirt, a sundress. Did she pinky promise to always be there for her sisters?
Tumbling head-over-heals at a soccer game. Broken collar bone but refused to be pulled out of the game. Resilient, this one. Tough. What exactly is the emergency when a hurricane hits?
9,000 feet up Half Dome. Smiles with dad are ear to ear.  She loves the outdoors.  She has the beach here. Will she wear sunscreen?
Eight pairs of high heels,  ten pairs of flip flops, one pair of running shoes. Where will she store it all in her ten-by-twenty room?
Aptly nicknamed"Schtifty"by her Opa.  Translation: young apprentice. Sweet and loving granddaughter. Will she have time for our phone calls?

Fiercely independent, relentlessly loyal, deeply compassionate. I know she is and will continue to contribute to society as a creative problem solver, a dedicated, hard worker, and independent thinker.  She is all of this and fun loving, carefree and trusting at the same time. I know she is in the right place to find her potential and I know the road will be bumpy at times. My prayer for her goes something like this:

Please, Lord, let her path be just the right amount of rocky and smooth Let there be loads of sunshine for basking and epic views into a hopeful future.  Let there be people on the way who inspire and support her, and let her be open to these experiences with trust but not gullibility. I hope she doesn't break any bones when taking risks; broken hearts are just a given in taking risks in love, but that's only something she will learn first hand. Remind her that her intuition is more important than any analysis and sometimes she will have to listen to her heart without her brain's permission. Let her hold tight to the family who adores her, even while we let her go.
Amen.

There she goes...

Siena's walk from dorm to classes everyday! Life is good!

Road Trip to MA

Being the Queen of Procrastination (especially when it comes to unpacking brown boxes), I jumped at the chance to explore Massachusetts this past weekend with the family, where Alexa will be attending soccer camp. MA is a short 30 minutes from our house. For Californians it's so strange to be able to hop from state to state. Whereas a typical water cooler conversation in a California office might be "What did you do this weekend? Went to LA, Santa Cruz...Napa... Tahoe..."   Here in CT, it's more like..."Went to Maine...New Hampshire... Nantucket...Boston..."
We balanced our MA weekend with history and adventure. The adventure part was a trip to Six Flags New England, which boasts having the largest, fastest steel roller coaster (anywhere?).  The kids talked Barry and I into a 90 minute wait and a 90 second thrill on the Bizarro roller coaster.  It was probably my last roller coaster ride EVER.  People over the age of 40 should not be allowed on Bizarro.  It's too dangerous for our straining hearts. This particular theme park includes a pretty big water park as well. So while Barry and I found two perfect lounge chairs for napping, the girls went water sliding. It was a great day but absolutely exhausting.
The history part of the trip was an excursion to Deefield, MA.  This is where Barry's ancestors settled when they first came to America in the 1680's.  It's a beautifully preserved town which really gives you a good idea of how the early pioneers survived.  Right there on Main Street, was the museum home of the Sheldon family! How cool to actually walk through the home of your ancestors and consider all the risk and hard work they endured to survive as pioneers seeking a better life and new opportunities for their family.  It was so humbling. We saw the original Sheldon family bible and many other artifacts that had been traced back to the original Sheldon family.  We will no doubt be making numerous visits to Deerfield with other Sheldon family members in toe, so we are annual pass holders to the Deerfield Historical Society. Much to the dismay of the kids, we are not annual pass holders to Six Flags New England.
Siena has a friend she met in Hawaii this summer who lives near the MA boarder who invited her to the John Mayer concert while we were up north. It worked out perfectly and she had a blast! We stayed in Springfield, MA--home to the Basketball Hall of Fame. This town is obsessed with basketball!  There is currently a public art exhibit which consists of elaborately painted 5-foot high sneakers on display throughout the city. Everywhere you turned there were very tall people bouncing basketballs.  Apparently the annual inductee ceremony is this weekend, and includes Scotty Pippen and the US Olympic Dream Team from 1992.   How cool to know we could actually drive up for the day if we wanted to!
On our way home we dropped Alexa off at the boarding school where her soccer camp is being held. I don't know if she was nervous, but I was nervous for her.  I had butterflies as we pulled into the turnabout surrounded by ivy covered gothic buildings. Here's my girl, never been to MA until yesterday, never met a single one of these kids (there are about 200 attending the camp and 40+ are from her high school!), hasn't touched a soccer ball since I don't know when...Lump in throat, I waved good bye and sent a prayer up that at least one girl at the camp will see Alexa for the sweet person she is.
Our next road trip will probably be Rhode Island, more specifically; beaches with waves! For now, the brown boxes are calling me.

Battling the Brown Boxes

First night in our New England Cape. We vacillate from cozy to chaotic, happy to melancholy, humid to chilly! We love our new home. As if on cue, this morning during breakfast, a doe and her spotted twin fawns came grazing by our kitchen nook window.  We decided to have coffee on the back patio, where it's 75 degrees by 9 a.m.
The girls are settling in beyond my wildest expectations. My fear that the spark of their adolescent ways (the silly pranks, their obscure observations, the spontaneous "I love you Mama"s) would fade... all of that unnecessary worry as they continue to both inspire and entertain.  This past week while I managed the contractors at the house and started back to work simultaneously, the girls were busy making their own tracks.
Sisi went to New Jersey and spent three days with her new college roommate.  They went to a concert and spent time on the Jersey shore.  She had a blast! The two of them hit if off like old familiar friends. I was beyond proud of my daughter who had to manage her own way home from NJ by train, including a transfer by taxi from Penn to Grand Central Stations in NYC. She is managing the city life like it's second nature to her. She is ready to launch!
Let me tell you now about my little A, now the mature and grown up A. She attended a week long lacrosse clinic at her new high school this past week.  Her mom signed her up not knowing the clinic was meant for younger players.  The weather was some of the most humid and hot we've seen yet. But A went out with her typical enthusiasm and an open mind. She got to know the H.S. coach, as well as one of the high school alumni who is now playing lax at CAL! Her new Cal pal is now working out with A one on one. A. won the shootout on the last day of the clinic, but gave up the prize because she'd already won a prize earlier in the week. She goes to soccer camp in MA next week with the h.s. soccer team. She is very busy decorating her California Surf room (picture palm trees, teal blue and plenty of sea shells).
Little Sof celebrated her birthday with a trip to the Aquarium and dinner at a fondue restaurant. She spent this last week at "Glee Camp," where she sang and danced her way through eight songs! It was one of her best performances yet! The choreographer and voice coach were "real live" Broadway performers. I was so amazed that just two weeks ago she was saying farewell to her beloved directors, Jeff and Steph in CA, and now, center stage in a whole new production. We had gelatto to celebrate.
My kids inspire me. Their willingness to trust, to embrace the day, to carry on despite missing friends and family terribly, makes me feel blessed and ever grateful. 
Final note: we watched the Giants sweep the Dodgers on t.v. tonight!